Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
