I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
