:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
