It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
porn star boner night. come get it.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
