Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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