New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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