jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He has the fingertips of a God
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