Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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