I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
