trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
