I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
