Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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