i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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