Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
