just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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