mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
