THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Randomize
