I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
