Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You need Xanax blowdarts
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
