It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
