i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
