can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I will be naked everywhere
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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