Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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