Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
