i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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