i don't plan on having that self control this summer
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Randomize