Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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