If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He uses pillows to masturbate.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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