yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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