He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
