new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
