any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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