Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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