I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
We don't watch enough power rangers
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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