well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
