he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize