Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize