Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
