just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
