Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
