This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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