Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
