I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
