Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
