Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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