i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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