I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
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