Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
