just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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