Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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