Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
