But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
