This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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