Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
