forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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