So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
