Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Let's paint friendship bongs
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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