UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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