Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
