The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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